Uber and Delta: Because Flying First Class Wasn't Annoying Enough

So, Delta and Uber are "deepening their partnership." Great. Just what I needed: more corporate synergy shoved down my throat. Apparently, back in April, these two "premium brands" (give me a break) decided to "reshape what loyalty looks like." Reshape it how? By making it even more complicated to figure out where my damn points are and how to actually use them?

This whole thing kicked off at CES 2025. CES! That cesspool of vaporware and tech bros patting themselves on the back. Ofcourse, that's where you'd announce something as earth-shattering as... checks notes ...earning SkyMiles on Uber Eats. Riveting.

LaGuardia: A Testbed for Corporate Dreams

Now they're "reimagining the airport drop-off experience" at LaGuardia. LGA. The armpit of New York airports. Perfect place to test out a new program, I guess. If it works there, it can work anywhere, right? The idea is this: Delta customers can "self-select 'Express Drop Off, Checked-In'" and get dropped off at a special curb. Curbside hospitality! Wayfinding support! Giveaways! It's like a damn carnival. All to "redirect traffic to under-utilized spaces." Translation: We messed up the airport layout again, and now we need a fancy way to trick you into using the part nobody wants to use.

Joshua Kaehler, managing director of loyalty partnerships at Delta, says this pilot is a "great example of how we’re using partnerships to solve real customer pain points and elevate their experience." Pain points? Elevate? Is sitting in traffic for an hour a "pain point," or is it a symptom of a fundamentally broken system? Are we talking about air travel or open heart surgery?

And what about the Uber drivers in all of this? Are they getting a cut of this "enhanced" experience? Are they being fairly compensated for navigating the LGA hellscape? Somehow, I doubt it. More likely, they're just another cog in the machine, ferrying customers to the "Express Drop Off" zone while Uber and Delta rake in the profits.

Loyalty Beyond the Flight? More Like Loyalty Beyond Belief

They brag that 1.4 million SkyMiles members have linked their Delta and Uber accounts. Okay? And? Does that mean they're actually happy with the partnership, or just addicted to the illusion of accumulating points that are constantly devalued? I mean, come on, let's be real. How many of those 1.4 million people are actually getting any tangible benefit from this?

Speaking of Uber, remember that study that came out showing you can save a decent chunk of change just by checking both the Uber app and the Lyft app before you book a ride? Something like a 14% difference on average? But only like 16% of people actually bother to do it. And Uber's response? Basically, "Yeah, well, that's how competition works." As if that justifies exploiting customer laziness. Study: Comparing Uber, Lyft Prices Pays, but Few People Do It

It's all just a game, isn't it? A game of points, perks, and partnerships designed to keep us chasing the next reward, even if it means sacrificing our sanity and our wallets.

You know, I was supposed to write about those free Uber rides being offered in Georgia for Thanksgiving. The Law Offices of Joshua W. Branch are giving away vouchers to try and prevent drunk driving. Which, okay, that's a genuinely good thing. But it's also a depressing reminder of how messed up our priorities are. We need a law firm to bribe people into not driving drunk? What does that say about us?

A Match Made in Corporate Hell

It's all so cynical. Delta and Uber patting themselves on the back for "innovation" while quietly squeezing every last drop of profit out of their customers. Free Uber rides for Thanksgiving, a nice gesture, sure, but it doesn't change the fact that the whole system is rigged. The loyalty programs, the partnerships, the "enhanced experiences"... it's all just a smokescreen to distract us from the reality: we're being played.